If you've read my last blog then you know all about the year I've had so far. You'll then understand why on Saturday, as I stood on the edge of Rutland Water in Leicestershire waiting to start the British Middle Distance Champs at "The Vitruvian" - and defend my national title - I was so uncertain about what the next 4 hours held in store. I'd long ago lost the confidence I used to have going into a Half Ironman distance race, of going as hard and as fast as possible and being a contender at the front. There was now far more nervousness surrounding things for me. Would things within my body work properly today....would I finish.... Was I as good as my inner belief kept telling me I was or had I lost my "mojo" for ever?
You can read the race report here, so I won't go into the ins and outs of the race, but surface to say it went well, pretty much according to plan and most importantly reassured me that the failings of 2008 WERE anomalies caused by external factors and that I'm right to keep pressing on with my goals.
Its hard to explain but I'm sure most people out there can relate to feeling like they've lost their zip, confidence, flow...whatever you want to call it. And even for the most confident of people, it can be very hard to handle and stick it out and get through it. You only have to listen...and I mean REALLY LISTEN, to many of the things that our incredible Olympic champions said this summer Thankfully Saturday and the way the race went has not only reassured me that things are back and I'm about 85% back on form, but its also helped me see what could come next year if I get things right.
After my time away last week and the numerous little nuggets of advice and help I received I was able to try and implement some of them leading up to and during the race. To my delight and impacts were not merely indicators of what could be, but actual tangible differences to how things went right now. Changes in training leading into the race meant I was SO fresh come Saturday morning. Then come the start a different approach and tech to my swim... Normally something that would take months to feel like it was making a difference...left me coming out the water not only still in touch with the leaders, but also feeling like I'd barely got out of breath. Such a difference after so short a time blows me away, but has also fuelled the fire inside for next year and the possibilities. I remember the first time I managed to swim 20.16 for 1500m open water and the boost I got from it. Suddenly I truly believed that I could actually swim "OK" and that my goals and ambitions weren't as far away as they'd seamed for so long; and the path to them wasn't so cluttered with barriers any more either. The same thing is true on Saturdays swim. OK the time wasn't stunning and on a World class level, would still have left me off the pace, but it was over 90seconds faster than my time her last year or at Timberman 70.3 only 3 weeks ago. That’s HUGE in comparison to how long I've struggled till now to knock off a few seconds here and there, over the last 3-4 years. And to enhance to confidence boost, it just felt SO easy that I'm excited to see how much there is to come.
The same can be said of my run on Saturday. 3 weeks ago I struggled with cramp and have always found it tough to keep my "technique" for the whole 21km leading to most recently, well below (in my opinion) potential, run performances. One simple change to my run leg (not literally my running legs though of course...changing those for say...Halle Gabri Sellasies would be nice) approach and the first 10.5km flew by with my legs feeling fresh, fast and the clock showing me back on track to the levels I've seen fleetingly in the past but most recently struggled to realize or even believe were possible again for me.
What's different, what's the magic formula I'm now using...? Well its not EPO in case you're wondering ha ha! In a nutshell though, its purely simplification. As a great coach once said, moving away from "paralysis through analysis". Sometimes we (I) can get so caught up, over-complicating things, that we end up restricting things. Freeing myself of multiple technique focal points also frees me from any subconscious pressure I create to perform each one of those "points". This also reduces needless energy expenditure and waste that actually, we all too often don't even realize we doing.
In short though, I'm really excited about the ride I can once again see ahead of me next year. The next 6 months will be a journey in itself, but where I get to at the end, I once again believe will allow me to start on the next journey to even more exciting places.
For now though, I've got to settle in for a few months. Training yes... That journey must begin NOW, but also returning to work and rebalance the finances to allow for the journey to be possible come 2009. The life of a fulltime athlete is far from exotic... And we all have to live within the realities of this world...but using it to fuel the dreams in our heads.
