I recently decided to take the plunge during the off season and head back to a "normal" job. It often makes me laugh when people don't think what I normally do (the lycra wearing, training and self-inflicted suffering that is being a full time athlete) is "work". In truth, whilst I love it and it has many, many great benefits, its the hardest job I've ever done. Don't get me wrong, I'm fully aware that there are jobs that are FAR harder and more demanding -teachers, nurses policemen or being a full time mum to name but a few that I admire immensely- but the demands we must make on ourselves as full-time athletes, both mentally, physically and emotionally are huge and at times VERY tough. But I digress....
After (as you'll know if you read my previous blog) deciding to make some much needed changes for next season in order to get my performances back on track, I needed to put in place a number of things... and some of these, as with most things in life, required money. Hands-up MY fault, I'd not got the results this season to enable me to actually have these finances in place; rather than sulk about this though I decided I had to fix it... my mistakes meant my responsibility. So by Gods grace, at a time when more and more people are unemployed and the financial world seems all doom'n gloom, I find myself back in an IT job and sat behind a desk for much of the day and commuting into an office at rush-hour (on my bike of course).
2 weeks in and I'll be honest, life is now relentlessly hectic! The days are passing without me even noticing. I'm up at 5am (sometimes earlier) and still training at gone 10pm some nights. In a way though, exhausting as it is, its actually quite refining for me. I've been forced to get VERY 'lean'n mean' with my time... no moment can be wasted! Even my love for Masterchef Australia and Grand Designs has been snuffed out in the name of effective time management. My time now can only be divided between Jesus, my girlfriend & family, training and work. Unfortunately there isn't time for anything else.
The interesting thing is, that the result of being SO time starved, is that I'm finding I'm actually getting things DONE! Or maybe that should be the important things done (however as I write, the Christmas shopping hasn't yet made this list yet... GULP!). With no time for dawdling and with all systems "GO" from the moment the alarm goes off, I'm actually not feeling stressed or exhausted but actually (though still tired) quite effective and productive. With the expert and very understanding advice or my new coach Tom Bennett (T2 Coaching) my training is now all about bang--for--buck time effective sessions, no waste or junk miles allowed :-)
The other thing I've realised is that a lot of bad habits that had crept in and I'm sure helped lead to sub-optimal performance, have now been broken too. There's no option to "wait for the rain to stop before i head out for my run"... and then fail to actually get out the door at all; there's no "oh I'll just watch the end of this program and then go for my recovery nap"; and there's no "hit the snooze and take 5 more minutes" when i wake up in the morning. Its quite nice to feel like I've got some disciplined control back. Its not so much a transformation though, as it is conformation.
Having said all this however, I simply have NO idea how people do this all whist also having kids too! I tip my hat to you all because you must have somehow invented the 25th hour in the day or the 8th day in the week.
As Tom recently quoted to me "In every situation there is potential value, believe this then begin looking for it" - Norman Vincent Peale
Friday, December 16, 2011
Monday, October 31, 2011
How did I get here…
Once again, the time between posts is too long!!! This time, I think I need to be honest with myself and recognise why this is though. The season from the midway point onwards didn’t go well for a number of reasons and I’ve simply not felt like I had anything that anyone would want to read… that no body would want to bother. It's funny how the brain works sometimes isn’t it, and how easy it can be to let (if and when we choose to) external factors determine our thinking, attitude, actions and reactions. I always say, “You always have a choice, even if you don’t have control” and yet for some time now, I’ve not remembered this for myself.
You see, I’ve been forced to do a lot of what I guess some would call “soul searching”… I’d rather call it honest [very] critical assessment and what I’ve realised isn’t something I’m happy with; not in the slightest am I happy with it! As I’ve looked back upon the last 6 months of racing, training and life, I’ve had to follow the trajectory well beyond that time frame and realise that in triathlon at least, I’ve let things slip in a BIG way. I can see when and why these things started and even appreciate many of the understandable causes behind it. But what I’ve got to accept is that I’ve let all of this germinate beyond simple “events” that I go through (as we all do in life), to become seriously negative impacts that grow to be excuses; that grow to be habitual (attitudes or actions) parts of me that that are quite frankly cancerous to me as an athlete.
It's only been in this time off at the end of the season, faced with the reality of a [poor] set of race results for 2011, that I’ve been able to get any objectivity; in part this is one of the problems. But I don’t want to dwell (anymore) on all of that. Mistakes are only wasted if not learned from and used to make changes for the better in the future. I realise I’ve been un-professional in many ways to training, racing, preparation, structure, support, finances… the list goes on. Watching some of the pre-Kona footage this year I was struck in particular with how methodical Craig Alexander was to every single aspect of his training and racing, but more so, that even he as a 2 x world champion, actually handed over the responsibility for almost everything to other people; to experts!
The hole that I realise I’ve been in, in terms of training and racing has been dug solely by me… largely because I’ve been the only one doing the digging! Not only is this sub-optimal to doing any one thing well and consistently, but I’m also (I guess somewhat arrogantly) thinking I can do as good a job in things like for example nutrition, as a expert elite sports nutritionist. If I want to perform in a world class, professional way, then it makes sense to get world class professional help!
Who knows why or how I let myself get into the rut of doing things in the way I have been (I’m sure some of my friends might cheekily put their hands up and say “err… we knew”). I can see now just how far removed from the attitude I used to have and athlete I used to be, I’ve ended up.
So it's time to change things… everything! No more trying to do everything and actually doing nothing particularly well in the end anyway. It's time to seek out the best and let them take that burden off of me so I can do what I need to do as well as I know I can and must do, which is train and race!
So there are changes afoot for next season. The next few weeks are all about putting the perfect people, support and situations, plans and preparations in place to enable success and achieve it too. I’ve got some incredible sponsors who faithfully look after me and I’m incredibly grateful to VO2 Performance Road Bikes, Powerbar, CompresSport, ProFeet, ProHab Performance and Greepers. There will be more “back ground” people joining the “team” for 2012 and I’m for the first time in a long time, extremely excited about things again. The old enthusiasm is back and with it so too a confidence in myself (and those around me) to deliver what we truly believe is possible.
Pride is [wrongly] lorded nowadays as a positive attribute to have. I think humility is a far greater attribute to have but it's also certainly far harder to truly become. I’m grateful that God, in his grace helps me realise I need help and then also supplies every need to strengthen.
You see, I’ve been forced to do a lot of what I guess some would call “soul searching”… I’d rather call it honest [very] critical assessment and what I’ve realised isn’t something I’m happy with; not in the slightest am I happy with it! As I’ve looked back upon the last 6 months of racing, training and life, I’ve had to follow the trajectory well beyond that time frame and realise that in triathlon at least, I’ve let things slip in a BIG way. I can see when and why these things started and even appreciate many of the understandable causes behind it. But what I’ve got to accept is that I’ve let all of this germinate beyond simple “events” that I go through (as we all do in life), to become seriously negative impacts that grow to be excuses; that grow to be habitual (attitudes or actions) parts of me that that are quite frankly cancerous to me as an athlete.
It's only been in this time off at the end of the season, faced with the reality of a [poor] set of race results for 2011, that I’ve been able to get any objectivity; in part this is one of the problems. But I don’t want to dwell (anymore) on all of that. Mistakes are only wasted if not learned from and used to make changes for the better in the future. I realise I’ve been un-professional in many ways to training, racing, preparation, structure, support, finances… the list goes on. Watching some of the pre-Kona footage this year I was struck in particular with how methodical Craig Alexander was to every single aspect of his training and racing, but more so, that even he as a 2 x world champion, actually handed over the responsibility for almost everything to other people; to experts!
The hole that I realise I’ve been in, in terms of training and racing has been dug solely by me… largely because I’ve been the only one doing the digging! Not only is this sub-optimal to doing any one thing well and consistently, but I’m also (I guess somewhat arrogantly) thinking I can do as good a job in things like for example nutrition, as a expert elite sports nutritionist. If I want to perform in a world class, professional way, then it makes sense to get world class professional help!
Who knows why or how I let myself get into the rut of doing things in the way I have been (I’m sure some of my friends might cheekily put their hands up and say “err… we knew”). I can see now just how far removed from the attitude I used to have and athlete I used to be, I’ve ended up.
So it's time to change things… everything! No more trying to do everything and actually doing nothing particularly well in the end anyway. It's time to seek out the best and let them take that burden off of me so I can do what I need to do as well as I know I can and must do, which is train and race!
So there are changes afoot for next season. The next few weeks are all about putting the perfect people, support and situations, plans and preparations in place to enable success and achieve it too. I’ve got some incredible sponsors who faithfully look after me and I’m incredibly grateful to VO2 Performance Road Bikes, Powerbar, CompresSport, ProFeet, ProHab Performance and Greepers. There will be more “back ground” people joining the “team” for 2012 and I’m for the first time in a long time, extremely excited about things again. The old enthusiasm is back and with it so too a confidence in myself (and those around me) to deliver what we truly believe is possible.
Pride is [wrongly] lorded nowadays as a positive attribute to have. I think humility is a far greater attribute to have but it's also certainly far harder to truly become. I’m grateful that God, in his grace helps me realise I need help and then also supplies every need to strengthen.
Wednesday, March 02, 2011
The log in my own eye...
Started this yesterday, but only finished it this evening and decided it was still worth posting :-) ... Hope it is...
I’ve felt moved today to write something in response to one of the major news stories currently filling our papers and TV screens. Whilst the Middle East tears itself up in revolution, we find ourselves oddly miss-focussed on two young sportsmen –Mr Cole and Rooney- and contemplating their recent behaviour.
For simple contextualisation purposes, Ashley Cole, the Chelsea and England defender is currently having to explain how and why he ended up shooting a young work experience kid with an air riffle, at the Chelsea FC training ground. Wayne Rooney, also an England international has been somehow cleared of a clear-as-day act of violence in Saturdays game with Sunderland (?) where he is shown to deliberately elbow an opponent without any obvious justifiable (if there could ever be) motive.
But I don’t want to talk so much about the actual incidents themselves, but more the bigger picture that surrounds it all. Whilst out on my long run today, I was thinking about these things and also the reasons why I myself, do what I do as a professional sportsperson. What's the reason… and I wonder what would be the answer Mr Cole and Rooney would give to this question.
The irony of these two news-hitting incidents is that for all the criticism and “outcry” that we see and hear from the papers and the public, come tonight when Chelsea play Manchester Utd (and both players are allowed to play) there will be nearly 80,000 fans cheering… dare I say it… worshiping these same two men regardless of their personal misdemeanours. Should it strike us as surprising therefore when people in their position do such things when the long term response they get is adoration and love. The perception of the reality of all they have is clearly lost… and it's easy for “us common folk” to sit back and point at them, criticising; yet are we any better? To what end do we do things, what's the reason and how morally superior do we stand up to them? It's easy for us to say “they don’t know what they have” and accuse them of being ungrateful and abusing their privileged lives, but are we so different ourselves?
In the pursuit of “idols” we can all too often I think, find ourselves doing things we try to justify or even choose to ignore and accept as “wrong”; and yet in the grand scheme of things how important are those things that we pursue, crave, follow… live for…worship? I know the word “worship” might seam alien to many, but when we ask ourselves do we sacrifice time, money, friends or family in order to get these things, or for these people? This ‘thing’ might be money, status or clothes; or these people might be spouses, celebrities or sports-people. Either way if the answer to those questions is ‘Yes’, then worship is maybe not so misappropriate a word to use.
Providentially the book I’m currently reading struck me with some quite hard hitting things on this very subject today. It's called “Don’t waste your life” (By John Piper) and here follows a short exert from it that brings some sobriety to some of the things in life that we all end up placing value on, yet find it all too easy to criticise others when they fall:
“At these moments, when the trifling fog of life clears and I see what I am really on earth to do, I groan over the petty pursuits that waste so many lives – and so much of mine… it is like a multi-layered dream world of insignificance expanding into nothingness…
[Contemplating the immense courage and sacrifice of World War II]… I cannot make peace with the petty preoccupations of most [modern] life. Reading [one] story I wanted to speak to every youth group in America and say ‘Do you want to see what cool is? ...Well listen up about Jack Lucas.
He’d fast talked his way into the Marines at fourteen… assigned to drive a truck in Hawaii, he had grown frustrated… stowed away on a transport out of Honolulu.
He landed on D-Day [at Iwo Jima] without a riffle. He had grabbed one lying on the beach and fought his way inland.
Now on D-Day+1, Jack and 3 comrades were crawling through a trench when eight Japanese sprang in front of them. Jack shot one of them through the head. Then his rifle jammed. As he struggled with it a grenade landed at his feet. He yelled a warning to the others and rammed the grenade into the soft ash. Immediately, another rolled in, Jack Lucas, seventeen, fell on both grenades. “Luke, you’re gona die,” he remembered thinking…
Aboard the hospital ship Samaritan the doctors could scarcely believe it. “Maybe he was too damned young and too damned tough to die,” one said. He endured twenty-one re-constructive operations and became the nations youngest Medal of Honour winner – and the only high school freshman to receive it.”
Now whilst that might not straight away seam like it has anything to do with football, or celerity status and lives… or you and me; I feel it actually has all too much to say to us all. As John Piper put it, can we ourselves make peace with the “petty preoccupations of most [modern] life”? How much time do we ourselves waste on things that serve no purpose, or that often actually have underlying damaging implications? Just because my mistakes aren’t so publicly shown and commented on, does this mean I should be any less prudent with the choices I make and the things I do? I would suggest not. Trust me, it's something that’s becoming more and more weighty in the choices I make and hope it will help me to ensure as many as possible are good and purposeful ones.
How easily we can read a gossip magazine and tear apart someone else’s lifestyle and ironically see no fault on our part for doing this. Or how readily do we pay extortionate sums to attain a possession we deeply crave or “need” without a moment of guilt for the selfish use of the money that could have so easily transformed the life of an earthquake victim, or Aids orphan.
This might seam like a pretty big and deep subject for my blog here… but this is what's been going through my head today as I’ve trained. It's certainly spurring me on to try and ensure I don’t waste my life and the gifts I’ve been given. I want to try and use what I do in sport to serve a greater purpose. I hope and pray that every decision and action I take towards this end won’t be wasted and that I too, won’t get caught up in petty preoccupations… or just as bad, pointing the finger at others who might – there might just be a big plank of wood in my eye while I’m criticising the spec in theirs.
While we may feel frustrated with the behaviour of such people as Ashley Cole and Wayne Rooney, paralysed to impact it all in any way, I am beginning to realise that actually we can change it all more than we realise. Though speaking directly to such as these two sportsmen is highly unlikely, we can make changes in our own lives that impact in positive ways beyond simply getting one or two famous people to live lives we would deem “good”. Even that notion of “good” is something to be more closely examined (another day maybe) but for now I think I will start by trying to ensure that each conscious decision I make has a purpose that is greater than my own. If we all try to do this, then I think the difference would be far more profound that one of two sportsmen toeing the line of quiet, peaceful living. Challenging for me… but it's a challenge that has purpose and surely therefore, is worthwhile.
I’ve felt moved today to write something in response to one of the major news stories currently filling our papers and TV screens. Whilst the Middle East tears itself up in revolution, we find ourselves oddly miss-focussed on two young sportsmen –Mr Cole and Rooney- and contemplating their recent behaviour.
For simple contextualisation purposes, Ashley Cole, the Chelsea and England defender is currently having to explain how and why he ended up shooting a young work experience kid with an air riffle, at the Chelsea FC training ground. Wayne Rooney, also an England international has been somehow cleared of a clear-as-day act of violence in Saturdays game with Sunderland (?) where he is shown to deliberately elbow an opponent without any obvious justifiable (if there could ever be) motive.
But I don’t want to talk so much about the actual incidents themselves, but more the bigger picture that surrounds it all. Whilst out on my long run today, I was thinking about these things and also the reasons why I myself, do what I do as a professional sportsperson. What's the reason… and I wonder what would be the answer Mr Cole and Rooney would give to this question.
The irony of these two news-hitting incidents is that for all the criticism and “outcry” that we see and hear from the papers and the public, come tonight when Chelsea play Manchester Utd (and both players are allowed to play) there will be nearly 80,000 fans cheering… dare I say it… worshiping these same two men regardless of their personal misdemeanours. Should it strike us as surprising therefore when people in their position do such things when the long term response they get is adoration and love. The perception of the reality of all they have is clearly lost… and it's easy for “us common folk” to sit back and point at them, criticising; yet are we any better? To what end do we do things, what's the reason and how morally superior do we stand up to them? It's easy for us to say “they don’t know what they have” and accuse them of being ungrateful and abusing their privileged lives, but are we so different ourselves?
In the pursuit of “idols” we can all too often I think, find ourselves doing things we try to justify or even choose to ignore and accept as “wrong”; and yet in the grand scheme of things how important are those things that we pursue, crave, follow… live for…worship? I know the word “worship” might seam alien to many, but when we ask ourselves do we sacrifice time, money, friends or family in order to get these things, or for these people? This ‘thing’ might be money, status or clothes; or these people might be spouses, celebrities or sports-people. Either way if the answer to those questions is ‘Yes’, then worship is maybe not so misappropriate a word to use.
Providentially the book I’m currently reading struck me with some quite hard hitting things on this very subject today. It's called “Don’t waste your life” (By John Piper) and here follows a short exert from it that brings some sobriety to some of the things in life that we all end up placing value on, yet find it all too easy to criticise others when they fall:
“At these moments, when the trifling fog of life clears and I see what I am really on earth to do, I groan over the petty pursuits that waste so many lives – and so much of mine… it is like a multi-layered dream world of insignificance expanding into nothingness…
[Contemplating the immense courage and sacrifice of World War II]… I cannot make peace with the petty preoccupations of most [modern] life. Reading [one] story I wanted to speak to every youth group in America and say ‘Do you want to see what cool is? ...Well listen up about Jack Lucas.
He’d fast talked his way into the Marines at fourteen… assigned to drive a truck in Hawaii, he had grown frustrated… stowed away on a transport out of Honolulu.
He landed on D-Day [at Iwo Jima] without a riffle. He had grabbed one lying on the beach and fought his way inland.
Now on D-Day+1, Jack and 3 comrades were crawling through a trench when eight Japanese sprang in front of them. Jack shot one of them through the head. Then his rifle jammed. As he struggled with it a grenade landed at his feet. He yelled a warning to the others and rammed the grenade into the soft ash. Immediately, another rolled in, Jack Lucas, seventeen, fell on both grenades. “Luke, you’re gona die,” he remembered thinking…
Aboard the hospital ship Samaritan the doctors could scarcely believe it. “Maybe he was too damned young and too damned tough to die,” one said. He endured twenty-one re-constructive operations and became the nations youngest Medal of Honour winner – and the only high school freshman to receive it.”
Now whilst that might not straight away seam like it has anything to do with football, or celerity status and lives… or you and me; I feel it actually has all too much to say to us all. As John Piper put it, can we ourselves make peace with the “petty preoccupations of most [modern] life”? How much time do we ourselves waste on things that serve no purpose, or that often actually have underlying damaging implications? Just because my mistakes aren’t so publicly shown and commented on, does this mean I should be any less prudent with the choices I make and the things I do? I would suggest not. Trust me, it's something that’s becoming more and more weighty in the choices I make and hope it will help me to ensure as many as possible are good and purposeful ones.
How easily we can read a gossip magazine and tear apart someone else’s lifestyle and ironically see no fault on our part for doing this. Or how readily do we pay extortionate sums to attain a possession we deeply crave or “need” without a moment of guilt for the selfish use of the money that could have so easily transformed the life of an earthquake victim, or Aids orphan.
This might seam like a pretty big and deep subject for my blog here… but this is what's been going through my head today as I’ve trained. It's certainly spurring me on to try and ensure I don’t waste my life and the gifts I’ve been given. I want to try and use what I do in sport to serve a greater purpose. I hope and pray that every decision and action I take towards this end won’t be wasted and that I too, won’t get caught up in petty preoccupations… or just as bad, pointing the finger at others who might – there might just be a big plank of wood in my eye while I’m criticising the spec in theirs.
While we may feel frustrated with the behaviour of such people as Ashley Cole and Wayne Rooney, paralysed to impact it all in any way, I am beginning to realise that actually we can change it all more than we realise. Though speaking directly to such as these two sportsmen is highly unlikely, we can make changes in our own lives that impact in positive ways beyond simply getting one or two famous people to live lives we would deem “good”. Even that notion of “good” is something to be more closely examined (another day maybe) but for now I think I will start by trying to ensure that each conscious decision I make has a purpose that is greater than my own. If we all try to do this, then I think the difference would be far more profound that one of two sportsmen toeing the line of quiet, peaceful living. Challenging for me… but it's a challenge that has purpose and surely therefore, is worthwhile.
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