Perseverance and faith DOES pay off......

Anyone who knows me (and/or reads this blog at all) will know that my Achilles heel in racing has long been my swimming. Ever since I started in this sport, I've lagged behind most people in the first part of any race. The higher the level I've competed at, the more this has impacted my races and results. It doesn't matter how well u ride and run at elite level, if your swim isn’t any good u don't stand a chance. It’s even more important in the shorter Olympic distance races where drafting is allowed.

I have many targets for my training and race performance; some short, some medium and some long term goals. One of the big ones that I've put down at the start of each year since 2004 has been "swim an open water sub 20 min 1500m". In elite races the best in the world do it in about 18 ish mins... I've been used to coming out in about 22-23mins, effectively making my race over before it’s begun. So my short to medium term, realistic (I felt) goal was to get this down to 20 mins. Many people felt it was a waste of time and that quite frankly, with swimming being such a "feel" and "skill" based sport, out of my "late starting" reach. I however have always believed that I could. If I'm ever going to be truly competitive with the best in the world, it HAD to happen simple as that.

Now I've been working very hard to achieve this over the last 3 years. I've seen some improvement for sure, with my time dropping to the high 21min region but it’s been slow progress. Its taken days and days, hours and hours of work....10's of THOUSANDS of lengths in pools. Still though it wasn't happening as quickly as I wanted or needed if I was going to get to the level I believed was possible, any time soon. However despite all the evidence suggesting it really wasn't possible and that I should settle for mediocrity I've persisted and truly believed that I COULD do it and more importantly WOULD do it. Most importantly, I've spent hours praying about. I know that god hears these prayers and I believe that he answers ALL our prayers though maybe not in quite the way we expect, or quite when we'd like it either. But I trust that he knows only the best and isn’t limited by my small thinking. If I'd not done the training then I don't for one second believe it would have "magically" happened, but God doesn't always work like that. Often the answers to prayer come slowly and require us to do stuff (which undoubtedly God helps us to do as well).

In this case I've been hugely blessed in the last 3 months to hook up with Alex, my new swim coach. He is doing a masters under my coach (Bridgette Swales) at Roehampton Uni. and it turns out that Alex is a Greek Olympic swim coach :-)) Completely for free he's worked with me on my swimming every week for this time. Despite the mountain he no doubt felt we had to climb when we first started working together he's helped me move from "drowning rat" impersonator to "looking like a proper swimmer" and actually feeling like I was too. However u choose to look at it, he's had to help me and I've had to do the hard graft to make the improvements but I truly believe that this has been an answer to prayer.... Heck how many people have you heard of who just happened to get an Olympic level coach devote their time and energy to them, for free! If I was a rower, it would be like getting Sir Stephen Redgrave’s coach to help me out!

Last Sunday I did a 1500m (just under a mile, or 60 lengths in your local pool) open water swim race. For those who don't know, open water means outside but not in a pool. In this case it was Eaton colleges rowing lake. There are no lines at the bottom of the lake to follow (like in a pool). The water isn’t crystal clear, yes there are fish and probably duck pooh in there somewhere but what you gona do ;-) I've got a big race coming up this weekend where many of the best guys in the world will be racing and it’s been pointless for me to do it for the last 2 years simply because my swim was too bad to make it worth my while. Last Sunday I swam a time of 20.15 mins! Not only was this a HUGE new PB for me, it was also well within my limits (i.e. I feel I could have definitely gone faster). I can't begin to tell you how satisfying this is and also what I means potentially. For the first time I can look at the best in the world and believe that one day soon I’ll be able to compete properly with them. It also gives me great encouragement that all this time working towards the goals I have hasn't been wasted and delusional dream chasing.... I can now see, not just believe, the reality of my goals.

Whilst I'm not some religious nut who wants to bash a bible round people’s head (I’ll leave that to those dodgy satellite channels ha) I know that none of this has happened or will continue to happen without my faith, dependence and trust in God. It will continue to take more work, more time, more focus to reach my next target (19 mins) but I know that through God all things are possible and that someday soon I’ll be writing another entry into this blog describing achieving that goals too. When this happens, the Olympic dreams suddenly start to become VERY VERY realistic!

Balance

Training stuff first.... Woke up this morning and my pulse was down under 30 beats a minute.... That's VERY LOW and a good indication that I'm pretty tired (from training) right now. This is a good thing though and it feels good to be back in this place again. It’s very satisfying to know that you’re doing the training, your bodies working hard but you can keep going. I knew this would happen about now as I’m on week 5 of a 6 week training block. This would normally be the easy week in my 5 week cycle, but with London Tri just over a week away, not being a massive priority I decided to stretch myself a bit. Partly to see how I race carrying fatigue and partly because I'm targeting the national champs in September as my next goal, so London is more about testing stuff out.

Not least of which will my swimming. It continues to feel better and better by the week. The work I’m doing with Alex is really helping & for the first time ever I’m optimistic about my performance in an Elite race swim. There will be some of the fastest swimmers in the world at this race for sure, but if I can see the magic 20.xx on the clock when I come out the water I’ll be overjoyed. That's been a massive target of mine for a long time.

Apart from that, training continues to go well. My nasty run session with my coach on Tuesday had to be altered slightly in order to finish it and keep the quality. with the tiredness in my body, it was no real surprise, but I backed it up with my favourite long hilly ride of about 90 miles in a time I was pleased with. This is the kind of stuff that tells me the "zip" I said was missing, is now coming back. I actually feel strong again. With 7 weeks until the nationals, this fills me with great excitement.

So to the main subject....

The other day I wrote (but didn't post) a blog about balance. Not physical, but life(style) and the choices we make that effect it. On the way to work this morning I read something that reminded me of so many things, its impossible to put them down in one post... Probably in less than 10 ;-) I’ve been mulling over the ins and outs of my training and racing, recent failures and general unbalance that I’d allowed in my life & its impacts. But the letter in a Tri magazine I read this morning brought home to me what is ACTUALLY important....

"I have lost so much in the last year. However within our memories are also all the reasons we have for not doing things: I am too old, too fat, too out of shape. I don't have the time. What if I suck? What if I'm too slow?

One thing I do know is I have the time I have today. It is all I will remember and I'm going to remember it by doing something I cannot ever forget, whether it is getting married, running a marathon, doing my first triathlon or going to school. I have forgotten all the reasons not to do it"

Made me realise what balance truly is. It’s not making sure you plan everything better, accommodate everyone & their needs more, or satisfy you own needs more. Though undeniably those things can help make up "balance".... But I think true balance comes from knowing down inside that what you are doing, today, right now matters.... It counts; it will make a positive difference to you, your world or someone else in it.

Carl Lewis (great American sprinter) once said that "it’s not quite true to say 'you CAN be anything you want to be' but rather 'you WILL be what you want to be." By this he meant that the decisions we make reflect what it is that we truly want and therefore define if we are balanced or not. We might say we want to do something, but if we don't make the choices to move us towards that then actually, deep down its not what we REALLY want.

This simple concept has really challenged me in the last week or so. What do I want and do my choices result in actions that move me towards that. There have been some pretty tough questions to answer and maybe some answers I didn't like..... But then I have the power... To make new choices that can change this.... It’s ALWAYS my choice!

Some of these choices might not make sense to others right now, or even for years or more but if they move me toward the goals that I believe are important then they have to be made. I'm pretty sure that the more I try to ensure that my choices fall in line with this, the more balance will come back into the equation.

My final thought on it all and my new tag line when making choices "it’s not about being efficient, it’s about being effective"

Finding the Silver lining

As you’ll probably have read my last two races haven't gone according to plan. It was interesting re-reading my pre-race blogs before both. My comments about lacking "zip" make a lot more sense now than they did then. I've spent a long time thinking it all through (that can also be read as sulking ha ha) and trying to work out why my performances in both were SO FAR OFF what I expect and wanted.

I got over the "doubts" very quickly. Looking back at race performances from last year helped with that, though it did take a little while to convince myself I'll admit. So having restored my belief that it wasn't that I simply couldn't do any better, it was then a case of what had gone so wrong. I analyzed the way my races had both panned out.... Swim OK/good (better than before in the UK races case); bike in both was average and below what I'd expect and the run in both had started well but fallen apart after about 30 minutes.... But why? The reason I decided, was that I just wasn't STRONG when I stood on the start line. That was why I felt no "zip", that was why my normally strongest discipline - the run, had let me down so badly and that was why I'd fallen so far short of my (I thought) reasonable expectations for both races.

As soon as I said it to myself I knew I was right, but why in the middle of my season when I should be in peak STRONG condition....wasn't I?

I went back over the past few months training and realized one glaringly obvious fact... I'd got complacent. I'd taken the easy option too often, I'd cut training sessions short too many times or even skipped them....too tired, too many things to do...."oh it won't matter all that much"....but clearly it had! I wasn't feeling strong and zippy because I hadn't done what was needed to actually make me strong and fast. I'd made the plans to, don't get me wrong. But when it came down to it too often I hadn't made the choices that backed up these plans. On paper it should have been fine, but my execution wasn't. To be honest the fact that I'd managed to finish 14th and 12th in those 2 races surprises me when I realise now just how unfit I've let myself get. And this is the first bit of silver lining to the cloud. Since getting back into training and trying to address the things I feel I've done wrong in the past few months it’s only confirmed my suspicion.... This is a good thing. I'm quite excited to have 5 months until my goal for the year comes (Florida World Champs in November) and having this kick up the backside will hopefully be a positive thing and serve to give me the motivation I need to keep going all the way until then. I know what happens now if I slack off.... If I toe the line in Florida in anything other than top shape, then this WHOLE YEAR will have been a waste of time triathlon wise.... I'm not about to let that happen.

The other bit of silver lining to the recent "cloud" is the fact that (as I just mentioned) I've still managed to qualify for the worlds. I did in the race in California, but sadly couldn't stay to pick up my slot at the awards ceremony. Whilst I didn't get the slot automatically in the recent UK race, it wasn't taken by any of the other 11 pro's who finished ahead of me, so I gratefully took it! :-)

So whilst the manner in which I got it isn’t how I'd like, I've still got it and this was the main target for this point in the season.

Now it’s down to the next 5 months. No slacking off, taking the easy route and getting complacent! I want to get fast again and I can't wait for it :-))